Duke Nelson and his husband Steve Nelson leaped into foster parenting immediately after they decided it was for them. Duke recalls that, “We received our foster care license Friday at noon, and at 3 p.m., they told us we had been selected for an emergency placement. The kids were at our house at 5 p.m.!”

Unlike most expecting parents, the learning curve was very steep for these new parents. “Going from zero kids to three under three years old was an unbelievable experience!” Their caseworker had found a family of siblings who desperately wanted to stay together and find a home, so the Nelsons became foster parents to a young family overnight.

“We didn’t have the nine months or so of education and preparation couples get when they become pregnant. When you foster, you take classes on how to keep kids out of basic harm for a couple of weeks,” Duke recalls. The three siblings who came to the Nelsons are:

• Sean, now age six
• Luc, now four
• Willow, now three

After fostering the young family for nine months, the opportunity arose for them to adopt. First Duke legally adopted the children; then the two men married after 24 years together, with Steve taking Duke’s last name. Now both fathers are legally recognized as parents of the kids.

Reviewing the Options

Deciding they wanted children, the Nelsons looked at all of the available options. They learned more about fostering kids and knew it was for them. As they reviewed the children listed on the website of the foster care organization Texas Adoption Resource Exchange, they discovered that “There were so many kids that needed a home that it was almost overwhelming. So many lives that had little or no support. At that point, we decided nothing else made sense for us. We wanted kids from the foster care system.”

A Compelling Reason to Run Away

Discussing the reason for jumping into wedlock after 24 years together as a couple, Duke says, “We wanted to offer the kids and us some legal protection in case something was to happen to one of us.” They escaped for a weekend to Napa Valley, California, for a brief wedding, and then returned quickly home to the kids. With love for their newly found family they decided to marry into a family defined by love.

Same-Sex Marriage

The Best Thing of All

Looking back over the whirlwind of change and education that has hit the two men in the past few years as they went from partners to parents, Duke notes, “I guess the best thing is how we’ve changed. What we see as being important, special, or good has shifted and deepened through becoming parents.”

Opportunities Abound

With some 400,00 children in U.S. foster care programs needing parents, there are endless opportunities for capable adults to fill vital parenting roles for children of all ages. Many couples of all types who want to add children to their family are learning about the lives that can benefit from foster care.

The Nelsons are hoping to celebrate their 25th year together with a full wedding in their home state. They would like to not have to leave the kids for a weekend and travel to another state for a quick legal wedding as they did. It would be preferable to have family and friends gather to celebrate the bonds as their family grows from two to five and still continues to increase in capacity for love.

As we are all children of the same universe, the role of parenting must be open to all with love to give and willingness to serve and learn. Laws are changing quickly to allow all who desire to marry to have that chance, and laws regarding LGBT couples who want to foster and adopt are slowly catching up as well.